I've learned at least one thing in all this studying...

Some of you know I've been spending a lot of time studying for a pharmacy tech certification test the last few months. It's gotten really intense in the last four weeks or so and as I find myself getting closer and closer to that wire, my mind keeps wandering to all the things I'd rather be doing.

I have no plants this year.

I haven't touched the sewing machine since around last summer.

I bought a writing prompt journal for my birthday last month, and haven't picked it up once.

We've been eating a LOT of take-out and "easy prep" meals, if I cook anything at all.

Basically, I have foregone any activity that typically brings me joy or contentment in order to focus on learning allegation tables, generic drug names and classes, and the ins-and-outs of HIPAA.

And I've come to the conclusion I probably could not go back to school at this point without at least going part-time with work.

BUT! I am in the review stage of studying: noting topics that I struggle to recall and getting ready to schedule the official test. It's literally to the wire at that point and I'm so ready to get it over with I could just punt. 

I miss having free time; blogging, planning activities that don't pan out, reading, searching new recipes on Pinterest, doing generally creative things...  so I can't wait to get this test behind me so I can do them again.

And from the shadows of the interwebs...

Oh hot damn, I'm back.

Where the heck has Audrey been in the last six months? Well, busy.

The biggest task was a move. Yes, we packed up the house in Temple and moved to Killeen. By the time we got the Temple house fixed up and (finally) on the market, it was available a whole two days and saw two prospective buyers before someone decided they wanted it. A few more repairs and a month-ish later (late December) it was sold.

Obviously that takes a bit of time. Then we were sans internet for about two months while we got settled in. The water and electricity still has to be transferred to our names, but, you know, priorities.

I've also been reading a lot more thanks to getting into this Goodreads website. There are so many books on my "to-read" shelf now I don't think I'll really ever make a dent, but the yearly reading challenges give me a reason to try.

Something about a goal other people can see makes a great driving factor. I even surpassed my 2016 goal of 10 books!

I've also been studying for my pharmacy tech certification in both the downtime at work and on free evenings at home. We've been given access to an online course through our employer, and now that we have internet at home I should be able to run through it pretty quickly to hit my spring goal of taking the test.

Now that we're in January (aka pre-spring in Texas with the sun and allergies I've been seeing), I've been thinking about this year's gardening endeavors. With a new yard that gets quite a bit more sun than the last one, I'm thinking real seriously about having a strictly herbal focus this year. My basil from last year is still alive, but not enjoying the alternating winter-summer thing we've had lately, but the hardware stores already have their herbs for sale now, including some fennel I saw yesterday that I've never seen before.

So that's kind of where I've been and where I am now. I need to go shower before class, but hopefully this won't be the last update for another six months.

An unexpected compliment

I received an unexpected compliment today.

But first the background:

Brian and I went to Houston last weekend to visit Phillip, an aikido friend who has been working on getting a group started on the east side. They recently relocated to a community center and lost their weekend practice times, so his main two students came to his house to play and hang out on Saturday night.

No one got photos of me, but here's Brian and Phillip playing in the living room.

Phillip asked Brian about the owaza jupon (don't quote me on the spelling of that), or "Big 10" kata, which Brian immediately passed off to me.

The Big 10 is nicknamed the "Big Snip" in our school because the focus of diverging centers in the techniques is best accomplished with very little use of muscle. But males want to muscle everything and tend to struggle with their testosterone to complete the techniques correctly, so we jokingly tell them to "leave their balls in the dressing room" for this one. Brian defaulted the question to me because I don't have as much trouble muscling through the kata as he does.

Anyway, I demonstrated a couple of the Big 10 techniques for the Houston crew. Apparently I impressed and surprised. I was told that one person's eyes "got so wide," as he apparently didn't expect me to actually knock him down. Another guy told Brian I was a "badass." It was all rather nice.

But the actual compliment came today. I got a text from Phillip asking me to call when I had a chance. During my lunch break I call and am told about some kind of women's event happening Thursday evening that his wife is taking part in. She was talking about the school to some women involved in the planning and they seemed interested in East Houston Aikido Club representing at the event. Phillip wanted to take part to get more exposure for his group, but wanted a female to help with the demonstration to pique more of the audience's interest.

Unfortunately, I can't make the event; I'd have to take half a day off tomorrow (Thursday) to make it by 6 p.m. and make the return after 9 p.m. and likely still go to work the next day. I just can't marathon that kind of trip anymore, but I really really wish I could. As an alternative, I told Phillip if he was still going to go to the event and pass out flyers, I could video some sample demos he could share with any interested passersby, but I haven't gotten an answer on if it would be helpful or not.

Fortunately these events are apparently not uncommon, so a chance to do this again -- and hopefully with a little more time to prepare -- in the future is not completely out of the question.

Audrey Update III: Garden Watch 2016, the summer of surprises

You really didn't think I stopped gardening, did you?

Sure, things have been hectic, but just because there's a lot less gratuitous plant photo-sharing on this blog doesn't mean I'm not getting my hands dirty this year.

I did decide to narrow my focus this time around. Aside of the two pepper plants that survived the winter, I figured since my talent seemed to lie in making things get really leafy I should focus on herbs this year. You know, stuff you want to make leaves.

It started with the Grow Your Own Cocktails kit I mentioned in a previous post. The blue borage started off strong, with lemon balm and a few others trailing slowly behind. Only a couple, lavender and mint, refused to sprout.

I shared this photo in a past update.

There were also cilantro, dill and basil from some seed pods among the great Porch Pot Upgrade.

Well, something ate the beautiful blue borage (the big-leafed one in the above photo). Slowly, too. I thought they were just dying at first, but the plant marker mysteriously falling over more than once lead me to believe it was rabbits again. Over the course of about a week, the borage was no more.

R.I.P. Blue Borage. :-(

The seed pod sprouts died off too, so I caved and purchased mint, basil and parsley at the store.

So happy togetherrrrr!

The cilantro seemed to be ok when I transplanted it, but quickly died afterward. But some odd sprouts came out of the pot that I just let grow to see what they'd become. I planted the lemon balm in the same pot as the thyme (which decided it wasn't worth growing anyway), and some more mystery sprouts also appeared here, as well as in the basil pot pictured above.

Pictured above: Lemon balm and definitely-not-lemon-balm. Below: not cilantro. 

All I can figure is the dirt I took from last year's tomato tree must have had more life in it than I thought, because I have tomato sprouts every-freaking-where now.

There's another sprout in with the not-cilantro that I still can't identify. It doesn't give off any smell I can detect, and the closest I can come to comparing it in my limited experience is to a potato vine.

Any input or insight would be appreciated.

The next surprise was a little sprout that appeared in the pot of dead rosemary from last year. It appeared in the beginning of the spring and didn't look like a weed. Turned out to be a flower that I've never bought before, but see every year in plant nurseries.

The specific name escapes me, and the current bloom has wilted, unfortunately.

THEN came a surprise from a houseplant I bought nearly four years ago on clearance at Walmart in Killeen or Copperas Cove.

Thanks to technology I know this was on September 26, 2012. I can't remember it ever being so small.

I thought it was neat looking and a little research told me it was a natural air filter, so I made it mine. Then I left it outside one cold night and a lot of the leaves died. I was left with a funny pineapple top-looking plant.

Not a lot of filtration happening here...

Then a few weeks ago I noticed something. A small something.

Look at it!

It's re-starting itself! I'm going to wait for the mini-me to get a bit bigger, then it be a sad, choppy farewell to the pineapple top to make way for the new generation.

The pepper plants are doing well. We've gotten two banana peppers so far and there are two small bell peppers taking their time to grow.

 Banana pepper number three and the freshman bell peppers.

 Pests still abound, but I'm trying to be smarter than my competition if possible. You can see some eggshell in my herbs to deter snails, and I shared a photo of one on Facebook that somehow nabbed a mint leaf despite my efforts.

They're a real problem.

So there you go. There have been a lot of surprise plants and resurgence this season, as well as a fair amount of disappointment. Here's to the successes, though, and hope for continued victories.

Audrey Update Part II: Medical tech

I posted a short intro about starting an insulin pump/continuous glucose monitor (CGM) trial last month. On April 6 I went to meet the Medtronic rep and get hooked up to the pump. As I was leaving the appointment we learned Acer had cancer, so my focus had to be split for those following two weeks.

You may remember this photo.

It took me a while to warm up to the pump. That's not to say it was hard to use, it was actually pretty simple. It was harder to adapt to being attached to something all the time. Finding sites that didn't get in the way of waistbands or risk being unstuck by motion has taken some practice. I haven't really moved from my stomach much (I did try my right thigh for a while, but that proved a problem when I went to the bathroom).

All in all, the pump has been okay. I know those two or three weeks of having it actually made an impact on my A1C, which was a 6.9, the lowest it had been in my last five blood draws.

This is an A1C to blood sugar comparison chart from www.diabetesdaily.com, for reference sake. 

I've always struggled with being on the high side of my BG levels, so getting down to 6.9 after just three weeks was amazing (most of the more recent results were between around 7.3 and 7.8). 

Then I got hooked up to the CGM about two weeks ago.

First, the country song of my life continued on my way to that appointment. See, the previous week I realized I couldn't make it to the original CGM setup appointment due to work, so I went online to cancel. I'm on my way to what was going to be a combination appointment  to see my endocrinologist, then meet with the educator and Medtronic rep, which - keep in mind - is about an hour away from where I live and I've taken an extended lunch break, but haven't eaten, to make it that day. I'd spent most of the drive talking to my insurance about the wreck the last week and am driving a zippy rental car I'm still not entirely comfortable with. When I get a call from the clinic. "Did you cancel your appointment today?" the lady asks. 

"What? No, I cancelled the one last week and they rescheduled me for today after my appointment with the doctor."

"Well we have your Medtronic lady here, but the computer said you cancelled." She went on to read my notes, stating my availability Wednesday for a reschedule, the Wednesday I'd had off the previous week.

"No, oh my gosh, I must have cancelled the wrong one. But I'm almost there right now."

"It's okay, just come on in, we'll figure it out."

Immediately following I get a text from the Medtronic rep, who was apparently at the check in desk, as confused as the rest of us. 

So I arrive, learned I'd inadvertently cancelled my endo appointment, but could get in for the CGM setup in about 30 minutes. They would reschedule my doctor appointment for two weeks from then (today) and apologize for the confusion. 

The current setup, as I'm writing, for visual. The CGM (middle thingy all taped to skin) takes BG readings every five minutes and sends them to the pump (purple thing hooked to pocket). The pump can suspend delivery of insulin (through infusion at top) if BGs get too low for too long.

After all that mess, I had to get used to a little pod stuck to my body that beeped seemingly constantly all night and all the next morning telling me I was low or high. I hated the thing. All the attempts to remedy what was wrong just led to opposite problems later. I ignored the low alerts at night (shame shame, I know) because I knew I always wake up high. Sure enough, I woke up at 160-something without ever having remedied the lows at 3, 4 and 6 a.m. 

Then I went and had breakfast, some kind of bun and coffee, and dealt with it constantly ringing that I was over 250 all morning, even though I'd given the bolus and the pump kept saying there was still "active insulin" in my system. Of course I crashed before I hit my lunch break because I kept trying to fix the highs and it ended up overcorrecting. 

Just two days on the stupid CGM and my beautiful track record of glucose readings staying mostly in the low 100s was wrecked. 

In the time since, it has started to even out a bit. I still spike a little after breakfast, but I try to figure the bolus to better match what I'm eating to avoid the stupid beeping alerts. 

Now, I have about 30 minutes until it's time to leave for my rescheduled doctor appointment, and the CGM has told me it's time to let it recharge and put it somewhere else on my body. I've done this one other time and it took me about 20 minutes to figure out. I'm not sure if I can make it happen, but I guess I need to try. 

Overall review? Pump: would probably opt for later, when I have more funds available to make the payments, but shots were much easier to juggle with aikido.

CGM: only if I have to. I hate don't really like it. 

Audrey Update Part I : The car

I finally figured out a way to post updates about what's been making my life a country song the last month or so: I'm going to do it in parts. They're probably going to come in order of what I feel is biggest news, so firstly: I totaled my car last month.

Yes, the 2012 Yaris I'd only had (and been paying on) for a year now sits in a salvage yard somewhere. On my way to work last month I found myself sandwiched between an Altima (to the front) and some kind of SUV (to the back) right in the middle of Friday morning traffic. At some point the Altima had also been pushed into a pickup in front of it. No one was seriously hurt, thank goodness, but it's kind of a nightmare to lose your vehicle.

This was after they lifted the hood to cut some power. All the shiny emblems on the ground.

Though I don't remember what led to the initial impact, I do remember thinking "Oh shit," then feeling the second impact and just closing my eyes. It felt like we were hit about eight times, but from the number of vehicles involved I know I could have only felt a maximum of three.

 Shattered.

I know the photos don't look like much, but I was hit enough that I couldn't open either door to get out of the car. The windows rolled down, so I had to climb out. That was a clue the frame had been bent, Brian said.

I walked away with a sore back and neck for about two days and bruises on my knees from impact with my dash, but that was about it. My insurance has been great though. I was set up with a rental by that afternoon (I didn't go into work that day, but made it in Saturday) and really didn't have to do anything outside of provide statements for what happened a couple of times. Even when one of the drivers involved started to claim injury, I was informed that it was basically whiplash and a bruise, so my initial freak-out was calmed.

I've been playing phone tag with one of the other drivers' insurance for about two weeks. I actually dreamed about making it a priority to get in touch with them last night. But other than that and a citation I need to look into, things seem mostly wrapped up. My insurance and the gap insurance we got with the Yaris covered pretty much everything, so the only out of pocket expenses I paid were for the tow from the scene and for additional insurance on the rental for a couple of days while I was still shaken up.

We purchased a Tacoma from the same dealership we got the Yaris. Brian made the case that it was his turn to have a new car, and while half of me wanted to be selfish, the other half saw reason. I'm now driving the slow boat Impala. It's still full of Brian's stuff, but it's paid for and gets me to work.

Before this wreck I had only been rearended a couple of times, so spent a lot of my time more concerned about drivers behind me than in front of me. Now I'm a bit more observant of both ends. I'm still a little paranoid though. Brake lights send a shot of adrenaline through my system, but I'm watching my following distance much more closely now.

Since my VW, I liked getting photos of my odometer at interesting numbers. This was the last one I'd taken for the Yaris, on April 15. 

That first coffee after you lose your dog

When I found out I was going to be off on Monday and Tuesday this week, I was grateful. We planned to put Acer down this afternoon, so I was glad I was going to have the day to spend with him and the following day to get my head right before going back to work. But situations changed and we ended up putting him Sunday around noon.

It rained all day yesterday. On the trip to the vet, the trip to Jacque's, the whole time we were burying him. The entire afternoon and evening while Brian talked on the phone and I kept fighting waves of "It's fine" and "He's gone."

This morning I slept in a little, but when I got up there was still a tug to go let him out of his kennel so he could go out from the back of my mind. As I'm trying to figure out breakfast, something in the back of my mind kept saying "You should see if he wants to eat anything this morning." Unloading the dishwasher I kept expecting to turn around and have him standing right in my way.

It's always so much harder than I think it will be.

I'm at the dining table, listening to music, drinking coffee and typing. I hesitated to plug in my tablet because he would trip over the cord if he tried to get by it.

Part of me is clawing to get another dog. Something to fill the empty kennel in the living room and missing part of my damn life. But I know I need to process this first. I need to gather up Acer's things, sort out what belongs to us and what goes back to the rescue to help another animal. I want to go through photos to make a collage to go under the one that features Grace.

I also just want to not be in the house today. Normally I don't at all mind being home all day. I play music, clean the kitchen, watch TV, cook  things, plan for the week, and am just generally productive  while also relaxing myself. But today it seems empty and cold in here. Lonely. My buddy in all these tasks is gone.

I'm also aware that I'm doing some serious self-indulgence with this post. I don't know how else to vent this stupid sadness that wells up in my throat when I'm not expecting it.

He was old, but he was loyal. He was always there. He just wanted to help however he thought he could. I'd love to trip over him just one more time.