Since the new year started, I've had a lot of random ideas for goals and projects floating around in my head. Things like getting back on track with checking my blood sugar, going on a vacation, getting a pet, getting a new car, starting an exercise routine. Heck, someone left a skateboard at my apartment after Saturday's get-together, so the thought of learning to use it has even been floating around.
The trouble with all these things is they require motivation and dedication, both of which I am severely lacking right now (along with available friends with whom I could tackle one of these ideas, but that's a whole other can of worms).
I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but the allure of a new year beginning and that "clean slate" idea is as infectious to me as anyone else.
So my next dilemma: picking a goal. Because yes, I miss having something to focus my energy into outside of work. I have aikido, but I realized how much I miss creating things or devoting myself to something for a few hours or days at a time. Problem is that dedication thing. I can barely make myself read for more than 20 minutes at a time now, whereas I used to go for hours without a break. I miss having so much interest in something (and time/energy to devote to it).
For my own sake, I will now look at each of these possible goals individually. I never said I was really writing this blog to entertain other, but if there are thoughts, bring 'em on.
Checking my blood sugar more regularly
I tried last year to get back into a daily habit of testing, but it was completely bust by spring. I fell out of my four tests a day habit in college, first dropping lunch, then dinner, then before bed and finally just stopped all together because it was a nuisance to have to do it.
However, I know my control is out of whack and I am probably constantly on the "high" end of the scale. The only way to fix it is to be more aware of it. I would have to start small and work up. Two tests per week, work to one per day, twice per day, eventually back to at least three. If I could go two weeks straight on each of these before I increase the goal, I should be all right.
Planning a vacation
I have never been on a plane in my life. The first time my family took an actual vacation, I was 20 years old. So the whole picking-and-planning thing is completely foreign to me. I haven't even got a clue of where I would go. I was browsing around the other night and started writing down what interested me. My list?
-New Orleans
-Alaska
-A cruise
-Scandanavia
-Australia
Note the complete lack of any sort of "theme" to these locations. I could drive to New Orleans. I've seen the ocean (technically, The Gulf of Mexico) three times in my life. I don't have a passport and I'm not rich, nor have I ever been.
Obviously, this is more of an ongoing thing. I worked all of 2012 without a non-company vacation. I only had two days of vacation time to use, and neither of them were utilized. This year, I get two weeks paid. I will use them.
Getting a pet
I decided quite a while ago now is not the time for me to have a dog, as much as I'd LOVE to have one again. I live in an apartment with a ban on all the good breeds, I'm rarely home during the day, have an unpredictable, irregular schedule and don't really want to give the complex a $700 pet deposit, plus an extra $10 on each month's rent. However, I asked when I was touring this complex if they would require a deposit for a small animal, like a rodent. I was told no. SO... That fancy rat I've wanted since I was 13 is a definite possibility here. Thing is I need to get all the equipment and supplies, then find a reputable rat dealer, and decide if I want one or two. They're social creatures, rats, and - as I said before - I'm not home during the day very much (however, they are naturally nocturnal, so there's a lot to consider).
The idea of something I can hold though is so comforting. I have a fish who is awesome in his own right, but you can't pet a betta. You feed them, wash the bowl, and antagonize them with a mirror held up to the glass every now and then to see them flare up. That's about it.
New car
Squirtle has been doing all right lately, but I know what's off under the hood. It's not going to last forever, though it hit 165,000 xp (miles) this week. I have an idea of what I want, but with another hunk of taxes being taken out of my paycheck, I'm a bit wary of spending more money now. Plus my mom is kicking me off her auto insurance (yeah yeah, first world problems), so I'll have to be paying that every month or six months now. Which reminds me, need to talk to my agent tomorrow...
Exercise
I admit, this isn't a huge draw for me. I've never been what you call "active." I couldn't tell you why I lost so much weight at the end of 2012, but I know it probably won't happen again any time soon. But the idea of being healthier is definitely appealing.
Some of my friends talk about training for 5k runs. It sounds like it would be awesome to say I did something like that, but hell, starting from working 8+ hours per day and going home and barely having the drive to do the dishes, to finding time to make myself actually MOVE? Like, OUTSIDE? It's hard to picture and plan.
Maybe I could find some home workout DVDs. Supposedly it helps to work out in the morning (how anyone can resist the sweet siren song of a warm fluffy bed any earlier than strictly necessary is still beyond me), and it might help me with this whole "going to bed earlier" deal I've been meaning to start.
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Anyway, that's a bit of the self/life-improvement ideas I've been bouncing around. I'm very dissatisfied with how my life is going now, and anything to give me something else to focus on besides how annoying my job can be is something I'd like to consider pursuing.
