Audrey Update Part II: Medical tech

I posted a short intro about starting an insulin pump/continuous glucose monitor (CGM) trial last month. On April 6 I went to meet the Medtronic rep and get hooked up to the pump. As I was leaving the appointment we learned Acer had cancer, so my focus had to be split for those following two weeks.

You may remember this photo.

It took me a while to warm up to the pump. That's not to say it was hard to use, it was actually pretty simple. It was harder to adapt to being attached to something all the time. Finding sites that didn't get in the way of waistbands or risk being unstuck by motion has taken some practice. I haven't really moved from my stomach much (I did try my right thigh for a while, but that proved a problem when I went to the bathroom).

All in all, the pump has been okay. I know those two or three weeks of having it actually made an impact on my A1C, which was a 6.9, the lowest it had been in my last five blood draws.

This is an A1C to blood sugar comparison chart from www.diabetesdaily.com, for reference sake. 

I've always struggled with being on the high side of my BG levels, so getting down to 6.9 after just three weeks was amazing (most of the more recent results were between around 7.3 and 7.8). 

Then I got hooked up to the CGM about two weeks ago.

First, the country song of my life continued on my way to that appointment. See, the previous week I realized I couldn't make it to the original CGM setup appointment due to work, so I went online to cancel. I'm on my way to what was going to be a combination appointment  to see my endocrinologist, then meet with the educator and Medtronic rep, which - keep in mind - is about an hour away from where I live and I've taken an extended lunch break, but haven't eaten, to make it that day. I'd spent most of the drive talking to my insurance about the wreck the last week and am driving a zippy rental car I'm still not entirely comfortable with. When I get a call from the clinic. "Did you cancel your appointment today?" the lady asks. 

"What? No, I cancelled the one last week and they rescheduled me for today after my appointment with the doctor."

"Well we have your Medtronic lady here, but the computer said you cancelled." She went on to read my notes, stating my availability Wednesday for a reschedule, the Wednesday I'd had off the previous week.

"No, oh my gosh, I must have cancelled the wrong one. But I'm almost there right now."

"It's okay, just come on in, we'll figure it out."

Immediately following I get a text from the Medtronic rep, who was apparently at the check in desk, as confused as the rest of us. 

So I arrive, learned I'd inadvertently cancelled my endo appointment, but could get in for the CGM setup in about 30 minutes. They would reschedule my doctor appointment for two weeks from then (today) and apologize for the confusion. 

The current setup, as I'm writing, for visual. The CGM (middle thingy all taped to skin) takes BG readings every five minutes and sends them to the pump (purple thing hooked to pocket). The pump can suspend delivery of insulin (through infusion at top) if BGs get too low for too long.

After all that mess, I had to get used to a little pod stuck to my body that beeped seemingly constantly all night and all the next morning telling me I was low or high. I hated the thing. All the attempts to remedy what was wrong just led to opposite problems later. I ignored the low alerts at night (shame shame, I know) because I knew I always wake up high. Sure enough, I woke up at 160-something without ever having remedied the lows at 3, 4 and 6 a.m. 

Then I went and had breakfast, some kind of bun and coffee, and dealt with it constantly ringing that I was over 250 all morning, even though I'd given the bolus and the pump kept saying there was still "active insulin" in my system. Of course I crashed before I hit my lunch break because I kept trying to fix the highs and it ended up overcorrecting. 

Just two days on the stupid CGM and my beautiful track record of glucose readings staying mostly in the low 100s was wrecked. 

In the time since, it has started to even out a bit. I still spike a little after breakfast, but I try to figure the bolus to better match what I'm eating to avoid the stupid beeping alerts. 

Now, I have about 30 minutes until it's time to leave for my rescheduled doctor appointment, and the CGM has told me it's time to let it recharge and put it somewhere else on my body. I've done this one other time and it took me about 20 minutes to figure out. I'm not sure if I can make it happen, but I guess I need to try. 

Overall review? Pump: would probably opt for later, when I have more funds available to make the payments, but shots were much easier to juggle with aikido.

CGM: only if I have to. I hate don't really like it. 

Audrey Update Part I : The car

I finally figured out a way to post updates about what's been making my life a country song the last month or so: I'm going to do it in parts. They're probably going to come in order of what I feel is biggest news, so firstly: I totaled my car last month.

Yes, the 2012 Yaris I'd only had (and been paying on) for a year now sits in a salvage yard somewhere. On my way to work last month I found myself sandwiched between an Altima (to the front) and some kind of SUV (to the back) right in the middle of Friday morning traffic. At some point the Altima had also been pushed into a pickup in front of it. No one was seriously hurt, thank goodness, but it's kind of a nightmare to lose your vehicle.

This was after they lifted the hood to cut some power. All the shiny emblems on the ground.

Though I don't remember what led to the initial impact, I do remember thinking "Oh shit," then feeling the second impact and just closing my eyes. It felt like we were hit about eight times, but from the number of vehicles involved I know I could have only felt a maximum of three.

 Shattered.

I know the photos don't look like much, but I was hit enough that I couldn't open either door to get out of the car. The windows rolled down, so I had to climb out. That was a clue the frame had been bent, Brian said.

I walked away with a sore back and neck for about two days and bruises on my knees from impact with my dash, but that was about it. My insurance has been great though. I was set up with a rental by that afternoon (I didn't go into work that day, but made it in Saturday) and really didn't have to do anything outside of provide statements for what happened a couple of times. Even when one of the drivers involved started to claim injury, I was informed that it was basically whiplash and a bruise, so my initial freak-out was calmed.

I've been playing phone tag with one of the other drivers' insurance for about two weeks. I actually dreamed about making it a priority to get in touch with them last night. But other than that and a citation I need to look into, things seem mostly wrapped up. My insurance and the gap insurance we got with the Yaris covered pretty much everything, so the only out of pocket expenses I paid were for the tow from the scene and for additional insurance on the rental for a couple of days while I was still shaken up.

We purchased a Tacoma from the same dealership we got the Yaris. Brian made the case that it was his turn to have a new car, and while half of me wanted to be selfish, the other half saw reason. I'm now driving the slow boat Impala. It's still full of Brian's stuff, but it's paid for and gets me to work.

Before this wreck I had only been rearended a couple of times, so spent a lot of my time more concerned about drivers behind me than in front of me. Now I'm a bit more observant of both ends. I'm still a little paranoid though. Brake lights send a shot of adrenaline through my system, but I'm watching my following distance much more closely now.

Since my VW, I liked getting photos of my odometer at interesting numbers. This was the last one I'd taken for the Yaris, on April 15. 

That first coffee after you lose your dog

When I found out I was going to be off on Monday and Tuesday this week, I was grateful. We planned to put Acer down this afternoon, so I was glad I was going to have the day to spend with him and the following day to get my head right before going back to work. But situations changed and we ended up putting him Sunday around noon.

It rained all day yesterday. On the trip to the vet, the trip to Jacque's, the whole time we were burying him. The entire afternoon and evening while Brian talked on the phone and I kept fighting waves of "It's fine" and "He's gone."

This morning I slept in a little, but when I got up there was still a tug to go let him out of his kennel so he could go out from the back of my mind. As I'm trying to figure out breakfast, something in the back of my mind kept saying "You should see if he wants to eat anything this morning." Unloading the dishwasher I kept expecting to turn around and have him standing right in my way.

It's always so much harder than I think it will be.

I'm at the dining table, listening to music, drinking coffee and typing. I hesitated to plug in my tablet because he would trip over the cord if he tried to get by it.

Part of me is clawing to get another dog. Something to fill the empty kennel in the living room and missing part of my damn life. But I know I need to process this first. I need to gather up Acer's things, sort out what belongs to us and what goes back to the rescue to help another animal. I want to go through photos to make a collage to go under the one that features Grace.

I also just want to not be in the house today. Normally I don't at all mind being home all day. I play music, clean the kitchen, watch TV, cook  things, plan for the week, and am just generally productive  while also relaxing myself. But today it seems empty and cold in here. Lonely. My buddy in all these tasks is gone.

I'm also aware that I'm doing some serious self-indulgence with this post. I don't know how else to vent this stupid sadness that wells up in my throat when I'm not expecting it.

He was old, but he was loyal. He was always there. He just wanted to help however he thought he could. I'd love to trip over him just one more time.

When you're torn between two big developments

Yesterday I went to training for my insulin pump trial. On my way home, I learned my dog has cancer on his liver and is looking at a maximum of two months left to live.

How else do you introduce two stories that inspire such opposing emotions?

On the one hand, I'm still not sure how to feel about the pump. It's a small weight attached to me at all times, and has already gotten on my nerves by preventing me from rolling after aikido.
On the other hand, I feel sad and distracted about Acer and trying to decide if and at what point to put him down. It's a constant psychological weight in the back of my mind.

I want to go into a discussion about both of these, but in focusing on one I feel like I'm not doing the emotions and gravity of the other situation justice. With the lack of photos to share, I'll just leave it with this:

• I have two weeks until I learn to use the CGM. In the meantime I'm going to try my darndest to really acclimate to this little purple pump. 
• I don't know how long I have with Acer, but we are planning to spoil him with car rides and treats this weekend, culminating in a small barbecue for him on Sunday, where he will get his own helping of steak and watermelon (I've never seen a dog like watermelon so much). 

Sorry for the lack of meat in this post. I wanted to say something about it while it was on my mind, but I'm having a hard time focusing.

In which I become a cyborg

I don't talk about diabetes very often here. Every now and then it comes up, but even in my every day life I don't bring it up a whole lot.

But tomorrow I start an experiment in my own care.

Tomorrow I go in for training on how to use a pump I've signed up to do a six-week trial of.

My doctor has wanted me to consider a pump almost as long as I've been seeing her (so two or three years now). A couple months ago I was poking around the Medtronic website and found a signup for the trial. Fast forward a month or so, montage a bunch of missed phone calls and voicemails and discussions, and here we are.

Oh goodness...

I finished the booklet reviewing the basics of pump therapy that came in the package I got Monday, and am taking a quick reflection break before I move on to the "Getting Started with the MiniMed 530G Insulin Pump" booklet.

It would be a lie to say I wasn't a little overwhelmed when I unpacked the boxes. I knew precious little about pumps, much less this one. From the discussions with the Medtronic rep, I knew it had been designed to be user-friendly to first-time pumpers and incorporates a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) in the setup.

It's PURPLE!

Past that, I didn't know how to load the insulin, how to correct for highs, what button does what, or anything. But going through the overview I learned some interesting things.

For instance, they have a Bolus Wizard in the pump that calculates a correction for high blood sugar or a given number of carbs consumed based on rates you put into the machine (which can be adjusted).

Equations. Long time no see.

The calculations aren't difficult to do, but having a machine do it for you saves the awkwardness of pulling a calculator out at each meal.

*silences judgmental Audrey*

So, as I head to the Getting Started booklet at almost 11 p.m. (hello Procrastination, my old friend), I decided to reflect on what may or may not be a positive change in a big part of my life I often pretend is not a big deal at all. I have a lot to learn to tomorrow, as well as questions about what to do with it during aikido, but I hope to update with the ins and outs I learn with my first experience on insulin pump therapy.

I haven't died!

Holy cow. Spring officially started but Audrey has been silent? No needlessly detailed posts about my scatterbrained gardening ventures? No reflections on my current life status?

I didn't drop off the side of Texas. It's just been a busy couple of months. Since the visit to NOLA, Brian and I have both been busy with our jobs, including working several weekends for me. We helped some friends of ours pack up to move to Washington in February.

We miss these people...

Then I had my birthday a couple weeks ago (which was a really great couple of workdays and weekend off). I got myself a hair cut for the occasion, as is my yearly around-birthday tradition.

 Coworkers made me and the manager (we have the same birthday) wear sashes all Thursday. Friday I left early and chopped about seven inches off my hair. 

Brian and I took Acer to the vet the day after my birthday. We'd intended to go to the range in Pflugerville afterward, but getting the dog in to be seen took a lot longer than we anticipated, so we stopped in Georgetown and visited the first Second Saturday street fair of the year instead. We showed up late, so got some great deals on pastries from one stall.

This guy was promoting his school. But the claims seemed to be a bit puffed up. *badum tish*

This weekend we stayed at a seedy hotel in East Houston to visit a new satellite dojo of our club in Killeen. They have a pretty nice location and are just trying to gain some more members to study with. If anyone is reading this near the Highlands/Crosby areas and interested in tomiki aikido, here are the links to their Meetup and Facebook pages. It's a good group of guys studying the art but not neglecting the martial.

After a good three hours of playing with the katas, we got to meet up with some of my old friends in the Houston area, which I'd been needing for some time now.

I was thrilled to see Carlos, Steph and Matt (not pictured, as he had to go to work) This was taken in a parking lot around midnight, right before a security guard in a golf cart stopped to stare at us until we dispersed.

Before heading back yesterday we swung through Lufkin and Nacogdoches to get my pine tree fix. We got food at Pepper Jacks and, after some mis-routing from the GPS, ate at the lake. Brian found some twin pinecones he was very enamored with.

Aren't they cute?

Soo, now we are back home. I ended up with a surprise four day weekend because I'm scheduled to work this coming weekend, so I'm trying to get caught up on things. Once I'm through here I need to get cracking on the taxes and an oil change I'm overdue for. BUT, I want to ensure all that my gardening ventures will continue into 2016. These are some dated photos, but I'm still working! I'm actually narrowing my focus to herbs this year, and the Grow Your Own Cocktails kit I got for Christmas has been interesting for that.

This was taken Feb. 28. The big ones are blue borage, which are now in a big pot. Everything but the mint and lavender has also been moved to larger temporary or permanent homes.

I'm also trying some more kitchen scrap experiments. These carrot tops are sharing a pot with a single radish from last year that decided it loves the cool weather we've been having lately.

I also got a pink bush-like plant from Jacque for my birthday. It's currently shedding it's pink leaves, as it's wont to do, but should re-grow them over the next month. She also surprised me by anonymously dropping off a strawberry plant one morning last week. I didn't know where it had come from for two days. I'm kind of excited about strawberry plants. I've wanted them for a while, but just never got them for myself. I'll enjoy them for sure.

My attempt at a compost bin has been nice. As it's mostly old potting soil with the addition of kitchen scraps, I feel it kind of had a head start, and I've already been using it for repotting sprouts.

Two pepper plants from last year, one bell, one banana, have survived the winter and are growing new leaves. I'm hoping they'll to better now that they're a little older and, possibly, more established.

So here's to a slightly more narrowed focus in plants this year. Maybe it will help to be less scattered. I also got a pretty windchime for my birthday from Korri, I'll bet its rainbowy magic will do well for my little green experiments.

I really do love this. I just have to get up really early to get the sun hitting it favorably and haven't 

managed to do that since getting it.

Attempting something new

It's finally happened. The result of dissatisfaction in customer service and not using my degree and professional experience to work for me has led to creating a profile on a ghostwriting job site.

I did a little reading before setting up the profile. Ghostwriting is obviously not the place to go for public recognition of ability and isn't steady work for a newcomer. But I miss writing. Lack of blog posts aside, there's a creative buildup in me that Pinterest, reading and cooking haven't been able to alleviate. I want to create something again. My first attempt at NaNoWriMo was a gigantic flop, I admit, but it did make me realize how much I miss creating stories or informing people through the written word.

There is also a secondary reason for pursuing the ghostwriting opportunity. The amount of money that goes from my earnings into paying off debt has begun to bother me. Several websites suggest securing a second income and devoting all earnings toward paying off debt. If I can start getting gigs writing things for other people, it would be a nice way to start really chipping away at student loan or other debts.

So while I wait for my profile to be reviewed, I'm browsing the job posts, seeing what might be easy to break into, while visions of creative bliss and freed-up income dance in my head. Goodnight!