At the end of March it will be a full year since I have held a full-time reporting job and decided it just isn't the field I want to be in.
In all honesty part of giving up was spite. It was the second reporting job that had tanked under me, though for different reasons. But I know that my heart really wasn't into the responsibilities. Journalism is something I am capable of doing, but really don't do well because I'm not that invested in it.
So I'm trying to figure out what I do want to invest myself in.
Jacque inspires me in some ways on this. She has a full time job with the state, but spends almost all of her free time working with Austin Boxer Rescue. Those dogs are her big focus. Every week she has new stories about successful adoptions or new intakes. While rescue isn't an easy task, it seems to give her a purpose in life she strives to live up to. I want something to feel that excited about.
Because her passion isn't linked to her job, it gives me hope that I can just have a job and still do something fulfilling on the side. I just can't figure out what that would be.
During these times, when I'm home all day, not working, I stay busy cleaning and cooking. And I don't feel like a failure at the end of the day. Surprisingly, I like when everything is clean and I have cookies or brownies or casseroles I made in the fridge or on the counter to eat. I like when there are no dishes in the sink or laundry on the floor. These are just hard tasks to maintain when working 40 hours a week (or even just 20 hours).
I've also realized how much I enjoy sewing. I look up interesting tutorials online, do a practice project, and make notes on how to improve for making the "real" one (the one I'm going to keep or give as a gift). I get so wrapped up in cutting and pinning the fabric, sewing the pieces and adding finishing touches, similar to how I get wrapped up in trying new recipes in the kitchen, with the computer blasting music to the room.
They're one in the same, really.
But these hobbies are things I don't expect to be able to make money at. I used to love writing, but when it became a job, I dropped doing it recreationally. I even stopped reading when writing was my job. Since leaving reporting, I've read so many more books. Granted they are middle-school reading levels, but in the last nine months I've finished seven or eight books. I think I managed to finish reading just three books in the two and a half years prior.
If I tried to start a cake business, I'd end up resenting any customer I got because I'd have to bake when I didn't want to. If I started an Etsy shop for sewing projects, I'd be mad I had to make more of anything when stock got low.
And I'm tired of resenting things I love to do.
I do have a preliminary phone interview tomorrow morning I'm hoping goes well. The job sounds very decent and very doable. It wouldn't require being on my feet for hours at a time, like my last several jobs, so I might still have energy to do the things I've discovered I love doing when I get home.
Then again I might get the other (retail) job I applied for, and be kind of where I was before.
Some other things I've considered doing to find my niche in life:
-volunteering at an animal shelter
-visiting different churches, seeing if there's a place where I feel like I fit in
-starting a theme blog to write for income
-freelance work for magazines
-tutoring
-learning to do clothing alterations, then offering the service
I just figured with all the job-related posts I've written, I might as well add one about the specifics of the search.
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